Did you notice my new blog header? It only took me a year to get a cool personalized header like all my cool bloggie friends. I'm pretty proud of it and I'm feeling the need for someone to notice it. Aren't you all excited? Don't you all love it? Don't you all keep coming back to my blog to gaze upon it and get excited all over again? Hmm?
Now on to the reason for this mid-week post... Like I said last week, we joined the YMCA and have been taking Wilder to the childcare facility there while we work out. So far I've only left him 10-15 minutes at a time because he's never really been babysat before and he gets upset. I'm trying to work him up gradually to being left longer but it's only the second week so he's still not totally comfortable with it. Each time I've checked him in I've let the person know that he's not used to being left with anyone and that I'll be back in just a few minutes and that they may need to hold him so he doesn't get upset. Well we hadn't been in a few days so we went tonight. As usual I told the girl checking us in about the situation. Wilder had been doing better the last couple of times so I left him for 20 minutes tonight. When I came back I could hear him screaming before I even got to the door. OMG, it ripped my heart out to hear him so upset. Then when the guy holding him brought him to me he said in an exasperated tone, "He's been crying the whole time! And he has like a rash on his face now."
Um, it's called -- a person's face turns blotchy when they've been bawling their eyes out for 20 minutes! Unless you're this guy...
Seriously, why did he feel the need to tell me that?? Then the girl checking us out asked, "Does he cry like that at home?" WHAT?! Yes, my 8-month-old hates life in general so much that he is in a constant state of screaming his head off. Why would she ask that? I told her again that we don't have family out here so he's not used to being left with anyone else and that of course he doesn't cry like that at home. I got really upset when we left mostly because I felt so bad that Wilder was upset but also because it's hard enough for me to leave him knowing that he'll probably be crying the whole time but then to have the people watching him act like it was such a burden and there is something wrong with him for crying and insinuate that he cries like that at home! UGH! Maybe I'm too sensitive but it really hurt my feelings because I know what a good, laid-back baby Wilder usually is and I felt like they were being judgmental and insensitive and were glad to see him gone.
Sorry I just had to rant for a minute. It's just that I try so hard to never make anyone else feel uncomfortable or judged so when it happens to me I guess I'm extra sensitive to it. I do have to say my other experiences with the employees there have been very positive and encouraging so I don't know what the deal was tonight, although I know the sound of a crying baby can make you go a little crazy so maybe that had something to do with it. I've got to make myself keep taking him back there. It will be so good for him to gain a little independence from me and he has to learn to be left with someone other than his parents at some point. I think the earlier the better and the easier it will be. Although it sure doesn't seem easy right now. People! Please tell me I'm doing the right thing! And notice my blog header! ;)
OK, see you back here on Friday for Wilder's weekly update featuring what I'm pretty sure is his official FIRST WORD! And, no, it's not "mama." That's OK, we'll get there.