September 30, 2011

Life of Wilder: Week Forty-Four

Why does Wilder look cross-eyed in
this picture? Click to enlarge it and you'll
see that he's not. That's weird and 
bothersome, but it's the cutest one
of the dozen we took this week so I'm
going with it anyway.

This week has been more of the same -- just going back and forth between my parents' house and the hospital for the most part. It has been pretty exhausting, physically and emotionally. It's incredibly hard to see my dad get weaker every day. I always thought that, if something was serious enough to die from, it would take a person fairly quickly, at least in a matter of days, so watching him lie there for almost two weeks now has been confusing, frustrating, and heartbreaking. I keep thinking that we should be trying to do something to save him and then I hear the doctor's horrible words -- "aggressive" and "incurable" -- in my head and I deflate all over again. I know they're doing their best to manage his pain but I still feel like he's suffering and I hate it. Every day when I visit him I pray for God to have mercy on him. I'm not ready for him to be gone but I'm ready for this to be over for his sake. I hate cancer.

The only light in all of this is my sweet Wilder's smile. Playing with him and taking care of him takes my mind off what is going on for a little while. He is so mischievous these days. It has become almost impossible to change his diaper. He will not lie on his back for more than two seconds and is constantly threatening to smear his poopy booty all over whatever surface he's on when it comes time to change him. I may have to start doing like my friend Katie used to do -- prop him up against a wall and tell him to "Spread 'em" like a perp, haha. Especially if this keeps happening...
(By the way, that's a birthmark 
on his butt, not poop.)
 Look at that face he's giving me!
Totally delighted to have escaped.
The other day we took him to visit Grana's work and he "helped" sort through some products in the warehouse. (Yes, she's been going into work a few hours a week while also taking care of my dad and sleeping at the hospital. I don't know how she does it. She is an amazing woman.)
One afternoon we visited Paul's grandparents, Mimi and Pop, who hadn't met Wilder yet. They had so much fun playing with him and he loved having a new house to explore. 
 Sitting in Mimi's rocking chair 
that she had as a baby -- I love
special pictures like this
Wilder gets so antsy at the hospital because he can't be on the floor so the other day we took him out to the Prayer Garden and he thought that was fantastic. He crawled all over the place...
 And tried to eat a rock...
 And then laughed at us, of course, when we told him "No!"...
Speaking of crawling, he's been doing a lot more of it this week. I would say he's about 60% army crawling/40% regular crawling now. It's so funny to watch him because he'll be crawling around on hands and knees and then see something that needs his immediate attention, drop down onto his belly, and speed off after it commando-style. He knows what gets him from Point A to Point B the fastest. 
This morning we took him to the West TN Research and Education Center to see their pumpkin display. It was a pretty cool design and all the different kinds of pumpkins were amazing. Made for some good photo opps, although Wilder was so distracted watching the other kids running around that we couldn't get him to smile for a picture for anything! These are the best we could do... Still pretty cute though :)
Wilder was in need of some sunglasses apparently
After visiting the hospital this afternoon we stopped by to visit one of Paul's best friends from high school. She has a three-month-old baby girl who we hadn't seen yet and she had never met Wilder either so it was fun to get together and catch up. I'm pretty sure Miss Hadley Kate is Wilder's future girlfriend ;)

Continuing with trying to focus on the positive, here are a few more things that have made me happy in spite of it all this week...

1) Seeing all the cards my dad has in his hospital room from friends and family -- 80 and counting as of today. He is much-loved.
 2) Seeing how happy it has made Wilder to have his daddy here the last two weeks. We've been able to spend some much-needed family time together.
3) Winning a gift certificate to a cute childrens' boutique in town -- Mags & Lulu. I can't wait to go check out their new store!

4) Receiving a care package all the way from my friend, Rachel, in San Diego. She is an awesome baker and sent some absolutely delicious chocolate chip cookies and banana-carrot-raisin bread that we have devoured and a couple of little toys for Wilder. What a good friend!

Well, I guess that's all for this week. I hope everyone has a good weekend. Thank you for continuing to encourage my family and pray for us!

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