November 7, 2011

Hipsters Aren't Too Cool for Cupcakes

I am not uncool, people. I just want to put that out there right off the bat. Since having a baby I don't have time to follow celebrity gossip or all the latest trends in fashion and music... but come to think of it I never did that anyway. Don't get me wrong, I like to look presentable/semi-fashionable and I love music; it's just that, these days, what is "in" is "out" in less than 6 seconds and I have better things to do than keep up with all that. Oh lord, you probably think I'm going to throw in a "back in my day" any minute now. OK, how can I prove that I'm not uncool? Um, I know that Ke$ha is not pronounced "Ke-dollarsign-ha"? Does that do it for you? Probably not because I'm sure she's been "out" for 54 seconds already but let's pretend you are now convinced that I am not uncool, OK? I promise I'm not. Just go with it.

But, I do have a confession... I just don't get hipsters. Every area of San Diego is known for a different group of people -- Pacific Beach houses the college crowd, Ocean Beach hosts the hippies, La Jolla is the ritzy bunch, etc. etc. Well, our neighborhood of North Park is overrun with hipsters. There are throngs of them slinking up and down the streets just oozing coolness.
College folks don't scare me because I was one once -- I know they like beer and anything fun. Hippies I know all about from being friends with them in college and from living in Ocean Beach for a year -- they like, among other things, sticking it to "The Man" and dancing crazily to music. The ritzy crowd and their affinity for anything expensive and exclusive also doesn't scare me. I don't belong to any of these groups but I'm not intimidated by them either. If I was stuck in an elevator with any one of those types I would have no problem making small talk. 

Hipsters are a different story though. From what I've observed they like cigarettes, bad haircuts, molester mustaches, skinny jeans, and being too cool for everything. But that doesn't tell me anything substantial about them. Who are these people? What is their agenda? I'm very curious about them because, not only am I afraid I'll get stuck in a North Park elevator with one of them and not have anything cool enough to say, but because there are an undetermined number of them living in the front house. You know, the front house? I see them every day in our mutual comings and goings and I run into them while checking the mail (which is on their front porch where they are constantly smoking cigarettes) and I just feel sooooo awkward. I generally don't feel uncool in my daily life (remember, I know how to pronounce "Ke$ha") but these people totally intimidate me. Fear of the unknown, that's what it is. And possibly the molester mustaches. 

But guess what? I had a small victory today. I inadvertently found out that hipsters aren't too cool for everything. Last night I tested a recipe for cupcakes for Wilder's birthday party. They were really good and I totally could have eaten every single last one of them. But I decided to be responsible and give some away. I wrapped up six of them to take to our playdate today and pawn off on my friend but, alas, the playdate got canceled as playdates are wont to do. Crap! I did not need any cupcakes sitting on my kitchen counter calling to me, much less an extra six of them. I wouldn't have been able to let them go to waste, if you know what I mean. 

So tonight in a moment of desperation? insanity? I don't know... I took the fluffy white pastries up to the front house and said they would be doing me a favor if they would take them off my hands. And you know what? They were totally stoked about them. As I turned to leave, the guy that answered the door, the one with the worst haircut of all, hollered to the rest of them, "Dudes, we got cupcakes!" And then I heard a buzz of general excitement and I'm pretty sure some high-fiving. Aha! I found one thing hipsters are not too cool for! And from now on, anytime I'm walking down the street pushing a stroller and feeling intimidated by the coolness of all the leather-wearing, cigarette-smoking, bad-haircut-sporting people around me I'll just imagine them eating a cupcake and getting a little glob of icing on the tip of their nose. Because let's face it, there's absolutely no cool way to eat a cupcake. 


  1. laurel is not exactly a booming metropolis, but we are OVERRUN with hipsters. it's like an epidemic. i feel your pain, mama!

  2. Love this story! By the way, lifestyle bloggers from Maui aren't too cool for cupcakes either. Bring it!

  3. You should enter this post in a contest. It's definitely award-worthy editorial. Fantastic! I could never write something like this. You should be writing books. I've said it before and I'll say it again: you are the next Erma Bombeck. We have got to get you into syndication.

    Re hipsters: now you know what to talk to them about in the elevator. "So, have y'all had any good cupcakes lately?"

  4. Hilarious Emily! Athens is a total hipster town and Hall and I have definitely broken a few of them ourselves. It's quite a feeling of accomplishment!


I love to hear from you! Thanks for visiting!